Couples Therapy · San Francisco
Couples therapy in San Francisco
Most couples don’t arrive because of one fight. They arrive because the same fight keeps happening in slightly different clothes, and neither person can find the exit.
The pattern, not the argument.
I use Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) — an approach built around the pattern rather than the argument. Instead of refereeing who was right on Tuesday, we slow down what happens between you: the moment one of you reaches and the other pulls back, and what each of you is protecting.
This tends to help when
The same argument keeps returning in different forms.
One of you wants more closeness and the other wants more space.
Something happened, and you haven’t found your way back.
You’re deciding whether to stay, and you want to decide clearly.
Couples therapy for gay men.
I’m a gay man, and a good part of my couples work is with gay male couples — including non-monogamous relationships, serodifferent couples, and couples where one partner’s substance use is straining things.
I came to this field through HIV medical social work and I work from harm reduction rather than ultimatums. You won’t spend the first session explaining your relationship to me.
I work with couples of all configurations, LGBTQ+ and otherwise.
Practically.
for 50 minutes
Online across California, with limited in-person availability in San Francisco.
Couples therapy is generally not covered by insurance, which reimburses treatment of a diagnosed condition in one person — so this is self-pay. More detail in the FAQ.
I completed the Externship in Emotionally Focused Therapy in 2026 and continue training in the model.
Next steps
Fifteen minutes, both of you, no pressure.
A short call to hear what’s been happening and see whether this is the right fit. I reply within 24 hours.